Get all 5 Kellan Miller releases available on Bandcamp and save 10%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Juvenilia, Sad Acoustic Songs, Seventeener, In Memory Of, and Peace & Tragedy.
1. |
Makalu Peak
02:36
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Have you ever laid there?
Dying in a hospital bed?
Does anybody notice?
Anybody care?
At all?
Have you ever cried?
Each and every night?
Will you be remembered?
Will anybody care?
At all?
The warmth of a mother's hug
The look in your fathers eyes
The arms that once held you
Are no longer there
Growing up again
One day, your children will suffer the same pain
If this is goodbye
I wish you the best in another life
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2. |
After This Disaster
02:59
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I woke up in the rain
Thoughts of dying once again
Broken and ashamed
And I'm all that's left to blame,
Wait for me
But don't waste your time
Hear me out
But see through all my lies
They always say, "just give it time"
I can't see it anymore
They always say, "it'll get better"
Why can't I see the light after this disaster?
After this disaster
There's a hurricane in my head
And in my hand there's a pen
I'll spill out all my blood
Until there's nothing left to give,
Don't hate me now
I've already lost it all
You're all I got
To take me out of this hell
They all say, "just give it time"
I can't see it anymore
They all say, "it'll get better"
Why can't I see the light after this disaster?
They all say "just give it time"
I can't see it anymore
They all say "it'll get better*
Why can't I see the light after this?
After this disaster
After this disaster
After this
After this disaster
They all say, "just give it time"
I can't see it anymore
They all say, "it'll get better"
Why can't I see the light after this disaster?
They all say, "just give it time"
I can't see it anymore
They all say, "it'll get better"
Why can't I see the light after this disaster?
After this disaster
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3. |
Silica
03:10
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Hell isn't hot enough for you to get the ending you deserve
I watch you burn, see you smile, no remorse
I see you blankly staring into a distance unknown
I see you unaware of your surroundings or where to go
But your burning at both ends
You're a fire that's out of control
And you're waiting for it all to mend
But you could never let me go
Hell isn't hard enough for you to get what you deserve
I sit, I watch you burn, see you smile no remorse
You turn like the waves
And when I think I miss your ways
I fucking forget every time you messed with my head
All the times I thought I was better off dead
You change like the seasons we never make it through
You change like the seasons
And I don't want drink or think about everything
All the pain you deserve
By now I guess I'll learn
Hell isn't hot enough for you to get what you deserve
I sit and watch you burn, see you smile, no remorse,
Hell isn't hot enough for you to get what you deserve
I sit and watch you burn, see you smile, no remorse
No remorse
Hell isn't hot enough for you to get what you deserve
I sit and watch you burn, see you smile, no remorse
When will I learn, If you play with the fire you'll get burnt
When will I learn?
When will I learn?
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4. |
Gloom
04:34
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Dressed in funeral black
In the back of the room
Fifty years until I
See you soon
If Heaven is real
I'll pray for you
When I look up
I see the bright of your moon,
A soul lost
And a star burnt out too soon
It mirrors a reflection, like a panic room
Every path I take leads me one step closer to you
I said I'd bring you something new by June
But I'm stuck in a never-ending bitter gloom
Numb to the feeling
Drowning in the ceiling
Dying in this floor
But you waited to leave
Now the weight is to heavy
To keep on carrying
It mirrors a reflection, like a panic room
Everyday, is path that leads me one step closer to you
I said I'd bring you something new by June
But I'm stuck in a never-ending bitter gloom
I watched you walk away
Now watch me fall apart
I siren in this cage
You were the light in my dark
It mirrors a reflection, like a panic room
Everyday, is path that leads me back to you
I said I'd bring you something new by June
But I'm stuck in a never-ending bitter gloom
It mirrors a reflection, like a panic room
Everyday, is path that leads me one step closer to you
I said I'd bring you something new by June
But I'm stuck here forever in a never ending bitter gloom
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5. |
I Hope You Remember Me
02:47
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I'm not coming home tonight
I don't know if I ever will
So leave on the light
And dress for the kill
I'm leaving this life behind
I'm so sorry I'm leaving you
I'll see you in another life
I hope you'll remember me too
I'm not coming home tonight
I'm leaving this all behind
The match in the gasoline
Will burn your memory
And when my time comes
The sky will open up
And I'll know you're at peace
I'm not coming home tonight
I don't know if I ever will
So leave on the light
And dress for the kill
I'm leaving this life behind
I'm so sorry I'm leaving you
I'll see you in another life
I hope you'll remember me too
You're weighing me off
And sleeping me away
You've been coming back around for days
Just to see if I'm gone
I'm not coming home tonight
I don't know if I ever will
So leave on the light
And dress for the kill
I'm leaving this life behind
I'm so sorry I'm leaving you
I'll see you in another life
I hope you'll remember me too
You'll remember me too
Here lies my grave
In memory of
I hope you'll remember me too
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6. |
Voices Sound
03:47
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The car is running, January cold
I feel the tension, but I still have to go
Your hand in mine, Tightly I hold
Because when I'm gone, my home is with you
Always, always
Crash into my arms, hold you close to my skins
Tidal wave, I can feel again
Nothing can hurt me now
Or forever more
My demons turn to treasure with my voices sound
Voices sound
Fictionally we walk into a setting sun
Because when I'm with you, I can't feel nothing
Broke as can be, but when I'm with you with me
I feel complete
Always, always
Crash into the sheets, hold you close to my skins
Tidal wave, I can feel again
Nothing can't hurt me now
Or forget more
My demons turn to treasure with your voices sound
My demons turn to treasure with your voices sound
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7. |
Pear Tree
04:00
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I started thinking again
About that old pair tree
In the backyard of my great grandmother's house
She ain't doing to well these days, I had to tell her goodbye today
And took me back to when I was nine years old
In that little roadside house
As I lay on this couch
I started thinking again
And I reminisce all the times we spent
I tried seeking god for closure but my closure never came from faith
It came by you by my side
Singing country songs and taking a long drives
I started thinking again
They say "the more you love, the less you hate"
It only seems true when you're running on counted days
And either way these embers grow colder and fade away,
They say "change your ways before you leave this place"
I don't wanna go without feeling like I lived my days
And the ones around will be at peace in my tragedy,
Is that all we know?
Is that all we need?
I started thinking again
About that crushed concrete
In the driveway of my grandfather's house
I haven't talked to him in weeks
We usually talk sports, politics or just shoot the breeze
And I remember him watching me at five years old
I started thinking again
About the friends back home who won't remember me
And hell knows I'll never forget them
Even though I wish I could
And that place was my everything
It was all of me
They say "the more you love, the less you hate"
It only seems true when you're running on counted days
And the embers grow colder and fade away,
They say "change your ways before you leave this place"
I don't wanna go without feeling like I lived my days
And the ones around will be at peace in my tragedy,
Is it all we know?
Is it all we need?
Is it all we know?
Is it all we need?
I'm watching the world grow up without me
When I thought it would grow around me
I saw the world grow up without me
When I thought it would grow around me
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8. |
December (Part 1)
01:18
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In practice no one believes we are just animals
More to a book than just a chapter
Even when we turn a new page
As in when we die we're just an object
Just a body to weather and decay
Yet living on forever in the remnants of age
A stone plaque engraved
Carrying the weight of memories that clawed on for decades
Though they may lose their edge, it was once a sharp blade
A collage, a killer instinct of blood stained sheets
Painted like a portrait, portrayed like a movie scene
Brighter than cotton candy stained sky
Cold and alone like the oceans deep
Dark, now that light has left us only with shade
If we could replay time what would you do differently?
Would you change anything at all?
Would we ever meet?
Would we ever meet?
Would you find someone to numb the hurt?
Would they let you take their last name?
Would we ever meet?
Would we ever meet?
Would you still be my December?
Would we ever meet?
Because I still think somewhere deep down
I would find you, but would you ever find me?
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9. |
Home
02:31
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I heard from miles away
Across this interstate
And baby I'm missing you tonight
I heard it for years and til this day
To where I'll decay
And baby I'm not coming home
Baby I'm lost along the way
Trying to find my way back home
Baby I'm lost along the way
Trying to find my way back home
I felt your pulse, it's bleeding lies
That course through my veins
One last kiss tonight
I saw your peace in this tragedy
And tossed it off at sea
Now there's nothing left of me
Baby I'm lost along the way
Trying to find my way back home
Baby I'm lost along the way
Trying to find my way back home
Remember those days you said you needed me?
It was one big fucking lie
Remember those nights you said you missed me?
With him still your mind
Baby I'm lost along the way
Trying to find my way back home
Baby I'm lost along the way
Trying to find my way to you
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10. |
Letting Go
04:55
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The ashes we walk upon are the coldest we've felt
A timeless face and a long walk through the shadows we are dealt
We know this may be a good time but and a sad time to say our goodbyes
But letting go has never reached the corners of my mind
Each day brings a new night
Each night brings new thoughts
I wake to different mornings
But all I see is dark
I don't know if I should stay or turn my back and walk away
Tell me there has to be a better way to make you stay
I'm not good at letting go
In my heart you'll always show, the man you were will always glow
I wish I could've made up all the lost time
I wish I wouldn't have ignored all the signs
I was a better man with you by my side
With you gone my secrets have no place to hide
Each day brings a new night
Each night brings new thoughts
I wake to different mornings
But all I see is dark
I don't know if I should stay or turn my back and walk away
Tell me there has to be a better way to make you stay
I'm not good at letting go
In my heart you'll always show, the man you were will always glow
I watched you dissapear from a distance
You gave it hell with the fight you were given
The hand we're dealt is never forgiving
But the way you played, you were always winning
I don't know if I should stay or turn my back and run away
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11. |
In Memory Of
02:49
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The memories
The memories
They're all I've ever known
And they're all we have to keep
Take a picture for the moment
You'll never know if it's your last
Like a rerun in slow motion
Like you're running from your past
I don't know if I'll find you here
At the bottom of an ocean
But I'll find my way back to you
Like I once said
And I'm running
But you're not far behind
Where are we going
Once we die?
The memories
The memories
The memories
They're all I know
And all I have to keep
The memories
Take a picture for the moment
Like the last time around
Never know if I'll see you again
If you'll ever be back in town
I hated saying goodbye the last time
Is it your casket
Or mine?
When I'm running
I felt free
But I was running from you
Not me
The memories
The memories
The memories
They're all I have to keep
And I wanna find you
On the other side
Heaven or Hell or in between
The memories
The memories
The memories
In memory of
The ones I couldn't keep
The memories
The memories
In memory of
The ones I could never keep
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12. |
Miss You To Death
04:07
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I'm running away for good
About to lock me away
I kept the key under the mat
I left a place for you to stay
Cuz I don't know if I'm coming home again
I don't know what it all meant
But I remember
You and I
So perfectly
Like the stars we aligned
And you ran your fingers through my hair
You kissed me on the neck
Baby, I guess I'm gone for good
But just know I'll miss you to death, oh
I'll miss you to death, oh
Here lies a memory in stone
A grave I dug myself
I missed the life I once had
Balanced on a shelf
And I know it's not calming to hear
But just remember that when I'm not here
I'm somewhere up above
I'm looking down on you
You're so beautiful tonight
I'm sending letters from Heaven
But it won't match my intervention
And I'm kissing away the pain
Of your and mine remains
But baby just remember
You were my everything
And when you take your final breath
When you burn into the sun
I missed you to death
More than anyone
Woah
More than anyone
I'm laying in the bed
I'm writing you this song
Just something to remind you
Something to keep when I'm gone
When we take our final breaths
Your image won't bleed from my head
And the scars still remain
And I miss you to death, oh
I miss you to death
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13. |
Earl (Part 2)
01:53
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In the story of life
Death is the only ending
Or is it just a spark to a new beginning
We pray to gods and fear the unknown
Does the unknown carry any credence?
Or is the substance enough to withhold?
From a young eye, first steps and lullabies
No one knows where the journey takes us
No one knows how the journey ends
No one knows when the journey ends
Some live to see others fade
Some leave before they have their last meet
From a different place do the loved lost ones still the birds and the trees?
Do they see the sun shining or rainy days?
Do they watch as the oceans waves carry in without them?
Or does nothing move on for them except what they left behind?
If I were to go before my time, I don't know if I lived out my dream
I don't know how I would've turned out
I'd be lying if I said I was happy everyday
But I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the ride
Would they scatter my ashes some place beautiful
Or will I collect dust on a wooden shelf in the living room forever?
In memory of the ones we could never keep
If this is goodbye
I wish you the best in another life
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